A Change of Season and a New Heart for Daddy

by Paul

This past year has been long and eventful. We've had overwhelming support and love shown to us by so many of you. Eden and Lynnette have been patiently awaiting the arrival of my new heart. It's almost impossible to describe our gratitude or know how to thank all of you for helping us through this time in our lives. We love you and are so excited about our new life and future.

We received a lot of family and friend support with Eden while I was in the hospital for 7 weeks. Here are a few pictures.

Eden with her cousin Ella Stewart.

Eden with her cousin Lauren Smith in Texas

Eden with her Texas cousins.

Life continued with Eden loving her ballet / tap lessons

Earlier today I posted this blog on my livingforeden.com

Last Sunday, after being home from the hospital 4 days, our neighbor dropped off their new convertible BMW. She said, “Here you go. It’s yours for two days.” I’ve always said, “It’s better to be trusted than to be loved.” Of course, we took the car with the top down. In the back of the vehicle, Eden was snug in her car seat with a cute jacket.

With the wind blowing through our hair and faces my wife Lynnette drove us up the nearest canyon by our home. The trees in Little Cottonwood Canyon were changing. The green leaves were a beautiful red, orange, and yellow. A season has come to a end and a new one is beginning.

We pumped up the volume listening to a favorite band called Leeland. As they sang, “Love is on the Move” we headed up to Alta Ski Resort were we parked the neighbors car.

For the first time in 22 years I felt no altitude sickness, which I often had up in the mountains because of my old heart’s anatomy and the fontan procedure. We walked some distance up a small trail off the side of the road. I felt amazing.

Driving home all we could do is cry because of what God has done for our little family. Hundreds of people have prayed. Little children have pleaded with God for Eden’s daddy. Surely the creator orchestrated something beautiful and I hope others may feel our same joy.

I feel “endurance” and recognize blood flowing through my body. Like slowly dipping the tips of your fingers in warm water I can now feel a sensation in my fingers. I’m composing music with more feeling. My nails grow. I used to have to clip my nails every other month. Now, it’s every week. I don’t get winded or lightheaded talking. I can follow Eden around the block as she rides her bike and still feel like going another mile. My appetite is strong. I’m up early walking as the sun rises. Needless to say, I feel alive and vibrant. Is this what it feels like to be normal? If so, count your blessings. You all have been greatly blessed by the Creator.

I had a chance to see and hold my old heart in the lab prior to leaving the hospital. Some of the heart had gone to another lab and a small part of the left atrium and superior vena cava is still in me. What I held in my hands was the size of a football and looked awful and somewhat disgusting. Pacemaker leads were still in the fatty substance on the outer walls. Stitches from previous surgeries were still in place in various locations. My right atrium was a big 4-5 inch balloon with very thin walls. It had been deflated. That’s how Dr. Kaza was able to remove the heart. The left ventricle and left atrium was covered with a thick fatty wall. I observed my only functional valve, the mitral valve, which struggled to pump oxygenated blood to my body for 36 years.

As I held this heavy over-sized heart in both hands I said to the pathologist, “How in the world did I survive all these years on this thing?” He replied with a puzzled smile, “That’s what we’re trying to figure out.”

At that moment for the first time I saw beyond my faith or spiritual hope of a creator or God. I held the physical evidence in my hands. Clearly someone else is breathing life into our bodies. The pump, which sustained my life for 36 years struggling to push blood through my body, leaves experts wondering how is this possible? Surgeons figured a way out. They made it work.

I asked a friend who is a cardiothoracic anesthesiologist about challenging surgeries and the delicate matters of life and death. Why are some taken home to God? Why do some stay? He said, “Sometimes, no matter how hard we work and no matter if we are doing everything correctly the patient for some strange reason passes away. And then there are times where we think to ourselves ‘there is no way this person is going to survive.’ But we go ahead and do the best job we can and the person lives. It’s hard to understand such circumstances. Obviously, someone else is running the show.”

Because of the tender mercy of our Heavenly Father, the Creator preserved my life all of these years. And now, I have a new heart. I am greatly blessed. I don’t know why. I’m humbled and sobered by the miracle that was beautifully orchestrated over the last year. All I know is that God Almighty has breathed life back into my body. He is my friend, your friend, my Father in Heaven, and your Father in Heaven. He is real. He lives. And like the scars in the palm of Jesus hands I have scars to remind me of His love, mercy, and grace.

In conclusion, I have been blessed my whole life with a congenital heart defect. My soul has been stretched. I will continue to search and seek out soul stretching experiences because in this I find joy, wisdom, happiness, and a personal relationship with God. His purpose and plan for each person is real. There is life after death. I do not doubt. We will see our loved ones who’ve passed away. I will enjoy a reunion with my brother. Until then, may we all enjoy our life and find joy in the journey.
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